Did she say YES?
by Emerald Letters
Summary: Oh, how Lily detests James. Oh, how James loves Lily. Oh, if only she would say...yes! Marauder Era, LEJP. Updated September 27th!
1. Above the Lake

Lily stared at James. _James stared at Lily._ It was as if they were seeing eachother for the first time. _James' head was reeling; it was the first time she hadn't turned him down immediatley_. Lily's face was flushed; she honestly didn't know what to say. 

James was, albeit, charming, in his own rights. But that had never stopped Lily from saying no before. There was something different this time. Maybe it was that for once Sirius Black and the rest of Potter's cronies weren't following him. Maybe it was because he had stopped torturing Snape--for now. Or maybe, it was because of the pleading tone in his voice, and the genuine look in his eyes. She didn't know. All she knew was her face was quickly becoming a most unnatractive shade of pink, and she should answer soon, or else it would begin to change to purple. 

_Lily was everything James had ever wished for. She was pretty, smart, funny, charming, witty...He could go in for hours. Ever since first year, he had pursued her with integrity. She had to cave eventually, he reasoned. The first few times he asked her out, she turned him down graciously; but soon it was evident she was annoyed. Always turning him down with a prompt 'no.' and a flip of her long red hair. She seemed ot be thinking it over, this time though, and that scared James a little bit. He had never thought past the "Lils, will you go out with me?" on account of she always turned him down. His head wasreeling as if he was being spun perpetually, and, if she didn't answer soon, he felt he would faint: not a very masculine display. Maybe she would actually say..._

"Yes." Lily said quietly, seeming as shocked as James must have looked. She didn't know what caused her to say yes, but she did not feel the regret she had expected. She felt, what was this? Elated? Excited? Daresay, happy? This was so wrong! It was a pity date, nothing more, she assured herself. 

_"Uh, yes. I mean, right then! Uh, well. Let's see. How about...um, yes. I'll meet you around eight, then?" James answered, stuttering eminently, and looking supremely uncomfortable. He wrung his hands, awaiting her answer, but recieved just a brief nod, and then she walked away. James was paralyzed for a moment. He hadn't a clue what to do next. Looking at his watch, he saw it was now six-thirty. Just enough time to tell Sirius and Remus he thought. As he began to walk away, a thought occured to him: where was he going to take her? Immediatley nervous again, he rushed off to seek the expert advice of his best friend._

Lily hurried into the girls bathroom, sure James would not be able to follow her there. Not that he was, she noted. He seemed bewildered, she thought. She had really caught him off guard. Was she really going to go through with this? She asked herself. Yes, said a little voice in her head. She couldn't begin to fathom why, but she suddenly felt very nervous, and began to pace. What if something went wrong? What if, merlin save us, she actually enjoyed herself? 

_"Sirius, she said YES!" James screamed, jumping in the air and smiling giddily. He thought he must've looked rather foolish, with that impish grin on his face, and he could feel the redness of his cheeks. He didn't care. He was going out with__**Lily Evans! **Blimey, he thought he might die of anticipation._

_"Well its about time!" Sirius exclaimed sincerely, smiling at his friend. The rest of the time before their eminent date was spent talking about the happenings, and mainly, where James was to take her. It had to be perfect._

Lily took one last look in the mirror. She didn't know why though, she couldn't care less what Potter thought. Fluffing her curly hair, and taking one last look in the mirror, she left the dorm room. She found herself biting her lip nervously, and almost running down the hall towards the Quidditch field, where James had asked her to meet him. The Quidditch Field. Lily rolled her eyes. So like James. 

_"You're here!" James said, astonished. "I mean, you're here." her corrected hisself, attempting to sound more confident. Lily smiled despite herself. He laughed. Lily's smile deepened. "So, are you intrigued?" He asked, still grinning, and gesturing towards his levitating broom._

_"Vaugley." She replied, walking over to him._

_"Well, better than nothing." He replied sheepishly. "Hop on." he instructed, getting on himself._

_"James, I don't know. You know I am partial to the ground." She answered, but mounting the broom behind James anyway._

_"Here we go!" He cried, pushing off the ground. Lily yelped, thrown forward, she flung her arms around his waist. She felt him shiver. James smiled. He loved the feeling of her arms around his waist, even if it was just to hold on. They sped around the hogwarts grounds, not slowing down until James had reached his destination. It was now sunset, and they were hovering over the lake. James pulled out his wand, muttered something under his breath, and let go of the broom. It continued to fly gently around the lake, wihtout guidence._

Despite herself, Lily felt oddly happy, sitting next to James. Her arms were no longer around his waist, as they were both sitting sideways on the broom, looking down. She couldn't believe that James thought this up. It was so--so romantic. She never would have guessed, that James...She had never given him a chance before, so how could she have? She subconsiously leaned her head on James' shoulder, and felt his eyes immediatley upon her. 

"Uh...Lily?" James asked, she heard him stutter, she heard the tremble in his voice. She loved having this power over him. What strange power she held of James Potter...a mere touch and... 

"Yes, James?" She asked quietly, still enjoying the view--and the company. 

"Do you like it?" He said, sounding hopeful. She nodded, and smiled as she felt him put his arm around cautiously. Again, she felt him shiver. It had nothing to do with the cold. 

_James was ecstatic, and grinning foolishly too. He had his arm around Lily Evans! Her head was on his shoulder! This was one date, if she said yes to another...Oh the possibilities! He hoped Lily couldn't sense how nervous he was. Despite the rumors, he had never actually went out with a girl before._

James had turned his head to look away from Lily, and she lifted her head. She had to admit, he look rather handsome against the pale night sky. She sighed. This was James Potter! She couldn't possibly be thinking this way about James! She hated him! But, still a little voice in the back of her head protested. She never hated James. 

_He knew exactly what he wanted to do next, what Sirius had told him he should do. He was scared though. What if she never spoke to him again? Maybe if he caught her off guard..._

_Quickly swiveling his head, he kissed her. At first, her eyes flew wide open, and James thought she was going to object, but she soon mellowed. Throwing her arms around his neck and kissing him back, James was now sure he had done the right thing._

Lily couldn't have been more shocked. She had originally planned on slapping him hard across the face...But that all faded at once. She couldn't help but melt in his grasp, she was at his mercy, and she could do nothing about it. She wanted to do nothing about it. Her stomach did a flip-flop, and she felt her face redden significantly. 

_James was so happy that she had accepted his kiss, and they were practically snogging! It was there first date, and hopefully, they had many more to come. James was surprised to find that Lily had soon taken control, kissing him fiercely, and not letting him pull away. The rest of the date was spent in a tight lip lock._

The next day, James and Lily met in the common room, and to the astonishment of the whole of gryffindor, began to talk excitedly, laughing and joking like old friends. Even more astonishing, Lily Evans kissed James Potter. She Kissed him! It was a conspiracy, a sign of the epocolipse. 

It couldn't last, the gryffindor's finally decided. Boy, were they ever wrong... 


	2. Away from Lily

**A/N: I hate perkiness, atleast, too much of it. So, this chapter has a darker tone. Schisophrenia...**

Lily lay awake at night, unable to sleep as she stared at the ceiling. Her brain wasroudy with thoughts and feelings. She just wouldn't settle. She ordered her brain over and over again to stop; to let her sleep. Each time her request was declined. 

'Atleast it was polite...' her mind began. She almost laughed out loud. She was talking to herself! Just another reason to support the current rumor that the epocolipse was coming. Soon. Smacking her hand against her forehead, she climbed out of her bed and into her slippers. Lily made her way over to the window, and sat on the floor, looking out onto the grounds, when something caught her eye. 

There was a student, sitting under a tree by the lake. His head was in his hands; deep in thought. A small smile unwillingly found its way to her lips. She's recognize that head of hair anywhere. She forced the smile away, but, despite herself, she pulled her robe tightly around her, and made her way out of the dormitory. 

_James had successfully snuck out of the Gryffindor Dorm. How? With the help of an old friend; his invisibility cloak. Now, he sat right bye the quidditch field, thinking. He couldn't sleep even if he wanted too. Not with that date still fresh in his mind. He couldn't stop thinking about her! Not that it was unusual, he really really liked her. But, now, she was within his grasp! They were an item. His mind wouldn't let that thought go; his heart wouldn't discard her face._

_Suddenly, he saw someone walking towards him. He pulled his wand out, hiding it under his cloak so it was invisible. He relaxed when he saw who it was. Or rather, who's hair. Her bright red hair was almost glowing against the shadow that was the sky._

"Hey stranger." She said calmly, sitting down next to him. She saw him smile, even in the dark. Boy, did she ever love his smile. When most people smiled, their mouths just widened, but his smile started at his eyes. The corners of his dark eyes turned up, as did the corner of his mouth. She shook her head, clearing all thoughts of his mouth... 

_"Lily, what are you doing here?" James replied quickly.He hadn't meantto be as rude as he sounded, but, when the person you fantasize about suddenly appears beside you, you tend to bea little shocked. He noticed her far off look; how perfect it would be if he could grab her right now and..._

"What are you doing out so late?" She asked, trying to distract herself from her own mind. It kept taking her back to his smile, and then... 

_"I could ask you the same thing." He answered slyly, still grinning. Lily knew she has been beaten. "But, since i can never hide anything from you, I couldn't sleep."_

"Me too. What were you thinking about?" She asked, leaning her head on his shoulder. She felt him pout his arm around her. His shoulder was so strong, so muscled from playing Quidditch. She sighed. She knew she liked James, but, this was becoming ridiculous. There was a reason she had put her head on his shoulder. She couldn't bare to watch him talk, it brought her thoughts to close... 

_"Well, Lils, about you." He answered slowly, sure she would be insulted. He waited for her withdrawl, for a cold slap across his face. But it never came. Instead, Lily lifted her head off his shoulder, and stared straight into his eyes._

Her mouth formed a silent 'o', as her mind raced for a reply. She couldn't say what she was thinking about. She was to proud to admit that she was totally wrapped up in the one person she had convinced the school she detested. The one person she had convinced herself she detested. She noticed his smile fade, bringing her eyes slowly back to his... 

_James wasn't sure what she was going to do. They were through though, he knew that. She would slap him, and that was that. He'd never get to hold her in his arms again. He'd never get to hold Lily Evans in his arms..._

_He leaned into Lily, covering her 'o' with his mouth, and kissing her. He wanted to atleast have this last moment. Maybe, she would be flattered instead of flustered. He tilted her head sideways, stroking her hair gently. __They pulled away slowly, resting their foreheads together. _

"I love you." He said simply, in a matter-of-fact tone, staring at her; waiting for her reply. Lily was dumbfounded. As many times in the past few years as he'd said that, this was the first time he'd sounded serious. He sounded genuine, and Lily hated to hurt him. She didn't **love** James Potter. Of course, she really liked him. A lot. She could easily love him. But, she didn't trust easily. She was afraid, and it stung to admit it. She was afraid to give into that trust, that love, however much she wanted to. She couldn't think of what to say. 

_So, she fled. James sat on the bench, his hands still on the phantom of her face, his eyes fixed on the back of her head. He sat there for who knows how long, staring after her in the darkness. When the first light of dawn peeked through the clouds, he finally got up, and walked away._

_Away from Lily Evans._

**Notes to my Lov-er-ly Reviewers:**

**Everyone:**

**Thankyou so much for the encouragement, i'm really glad you enjoyed it!**

**Books4me:**

**thank you, for the spell check. please get over it. I am more focused on the mood and the plot of the story than the spelling. I realize I'm not spelling-bee champ, so please, I don't care about a few mispelled words. **


	3. An Unbearable Pain

**A/N: me friend Lisa told me to update, and me mum's at work, so I'm stuck baby-sitting, without much to do. So, here's another chapter...**

_James collapsed onto his bed, chilled to the bone but unfeeling. There was blood dripping onto his forearm, from when he had run into Peeves in the hallway; he hardly noticed. James lay on the bed, stretched out and staring at the ceiling. _

_He should have seen it coming. But, he couldn't help himself. She was so...so...so Lily. He loved everything about her. It wasn't just a stupid teen crush; he really did love her. If only, the feeling was mutual. If only he had held his tongue. If only she had understood. If only, if only. _

_James began to cry. He hadn't cried for a long while, since he was young. This was an unfathomable pain, unbearable. He cried silently on his bed, alone, lost in the cobwebs of his mind; lost in Lily._

_Sirius Black had been watching through the window. He always knew Prongs and Evans would hook up eventually, he wanted them to almost as much as James did. When James returned, Sirius didn't know what to do. He wasn't exactly comforting. _

_"Hey Prongsie, what's going on?" Sirius asked, sitting on the edge of James' bed._

_"Nothing. Nothing at all." James replied, for once ignoring the nickname. Sirius was worried. Even at his worse, James hated when Sirius called him that._

_"James..." He couldn't think of what to say, James was his best friend, he wanted to help him, but it was too complicated. He himself had never been in love. He just enjoyed the company of a girl every now and then; sheer pleasure was his only motive._

_"She's gone, Pads. She's never going to talk to me again. I said...and she didn't...and it was good...but she didn't...and then she left, Pads, she's gone. Gone, gone, gone." James said in monotone, his eyes squeezed shut in attempt to stop the tears.He knew he was making close to know sense, and Sirius must think him hysterical, but there was nothing he could do._

_"Lils isn't gone, Prongs. She'll come back." Somehow, he understood it all. Even so, he wasn't exactly wise. James just shook his head, and left the dormatory, fleeing to the common room. _

_He soon fell asleep in the big chair by the fire place, his dreams were troubled. He saw Lily. They were together. Then, she faded away into the darkness, and he was alone. All alone. Far, far, away from Lily Evans. He succumb to a false comfort; he no longer needed her, he convinced himself. He no longer wanted her..._

Lily walked quickly, quickly away from James. If she just walked fast enough and far enough, she could escape him, escape them. She swiftly turned, and walked backwards into a wall, and collapsed onto the ground, her body wracked with sobs. She mut have fallen asleep, beause next thing she knew, someone was shaking her, waking her. 

"Ms. Evans? What are you doing out here? Have you been crying?" Proffesser McGonagall asked, helping her stand. 

"Oh, I'm sorry Proffesser, I was out late last night, I must've..." She trailed off. What was a good excuse for sleeping outside? She had always liked Professor McGonagall, but, could she trust her with something as fragile as this? No, she decided. But, she'd have to think fast. "Must've run into the wall...?" She said, almost questioningly. McGonagall gave her a scrutinizing look. 

"Well, Ms. Evans, I expected better judgement from you. You've already missed my class. But, I might as well ask. Mr. Potter wasn't at his best today either. Was something dangerous going on?" McGonagall asked suspiciously. She knew full well that nothing 'dangerous' went on. Atleast, nothing physically dangerous. She had her suspicions, but, she would not force Lily into telling her. 

"No, no, nothing at'all Professer. Sorry for the trouble. Maybe I could come during my free period and make up the class?" Lily asked, hoping she would say yes. She couldn't have anything below an 'O'! 

"Of course, Miss Evans, you and Mr. Potter. I'll leave the material on my desk as I have a meeting. I trust you to will fare well." She said, something like a grin on her face. She turned on her heel and walked away. Lily smacked her hand against her head and fell to the ground again. She and James alone... 


	4. One Last Kiss

**A/N: this chapter is very like, angsty. I repeat, perkiness is to redundant, so , I went for dark and depressing. Have a nice day )**

_"Hi Lily." James said, acting as calm as possible. He didn't even give her that lopsided grin of his. Just sat down next to her and began to work. He couldn't do this to himself. If she didn't want him, he didn't want her._

"Hey James..." Lily answered, noting his peculiar behavior. This was new. And, frankly, she didn't like it. Not at all. Last night, she had decided she should give James a better chance. She didn't love him, but, she liked him. A lot. And, well, that was a start. But she didn't know what to make of it now. 

_James was rather proud of himself. He hadn't fawned over her at all. He had restrained his hands from wondering off of his paper, and into what was now forbidden territory. It had been hard. Merlin knows, it had been hard. Now, he only had a few minutes to go. Ten minutes. That was it. Then, Lily shut her book, and stared at James. James wanted to run. He didn't like this. If they started to talk, he might lose his composure._

"James?" Lily asked, he just nodded, eyes still fixed on her paper. "What's wrong with you? You've barely said two words to me? I know I didn't exactly gush last night, but, I thought you understood; I need time." She blurted out. James finally looked up, fixing her with an icy stare. It sent shivers down her spine, and it scared her. Naturally, he had teased her over the years, but, that was only joking. Now, the look in his eyes frightened her, she wanted to run. 

_"I thought you'd have figured it out by now, Lils. You **are** what's wrong with me. You, you, you, you! You're all I think about. I can't help it. I want to spend every moment of every day with you, I want you near me. And, when I told you this, you ran. You **ran**, Lils, it broke my heart. I went back to the dormatory and cried, Lily. I **cried**. Over you, because you're scared." Lily's throat went dry, and she couldn't utter a word, but, she shook her head in protest. "Yes, Lily, you're scared! I don't know why, I don't understand it." James finished, putting his head in his hands, and tossling his hair furiously._

Lily couldn't process all of what he was saying. She need to leave. He sounded so...so hurt. The gleam in his eyes still frightened her. She grabbed her books and stood up quickly, racing towards the door. James got up, and walked quickly to her, grabbing her wrist and spinning her roughly around so that she was in his arms. 

_"Lils, I don't get why. Why don't you like me?" He said, his voice hoarse. He was holding her tightly to him, almost to the point of pain. He wanted to hurt her, he wanted her to feel his pain; he was scared. Scared that he would lose her forever. Scared, that he would hurt her._

"I don't hate you!" she screeched, her voice uncharacteristically frantic. She was terrified now. He had never been so rough, he had never acted like this. He was almost crushing her with his strong arms. Arms that just the other night, Lily had admired. She looked up into his eyes and was surprised to see a reflection of her own fear. James Potter was scared. Of what, she couldn't understand. 

_"I dont, I **can't** believe you! Lily, tell me you hate me. Please, just tell me you hate me." He whispered, staring into her eyes. The dangerous glint was gone, replaced by one of the most hurt expressions one could wear. James wanted her to hate him; then, he could give her up. Forget about Lily Evans. That's all he wanted._

Lily didn't know what to say, she didn't hate him at all. She wracked her brain for a way to comfort him, some way to calm him. The only way she could think of, was to tell him what he wanted to hear. She **would not** say that. Suddenly, James forced his mouth onto hers, kissing her fiercly, tearing at her mouth. 

_One last kiss, he told himself, one to remember. Something to last my lifetime, to keep me alive._

She tried to pull away, to escape his crushing grasp and his harsh mouth. She began to hit his chest with her hands as hard as she could; she wanted nothing more than to run. He kept her close to him, not letting her go, trying to make her feel his pain, his suffering. Lily wanted to scream, but soon, she couldn't pull away even if she wanted to. The part that scared her most was that she didn't want to. She found herself kissing him back, running her hands through his messy black mass of hair. She pushed him against a wall, never breaking apart. 

_James' eyes flew open as she shoved him against the wall, knocking over several distraught pictures. He would not melt at her fingertips, he would not cower at her mere touch. She could not hold this power over him! But she did._

Lily pulled her mouth away, breathing heavily, her eyes still shut. James began to kiss her neck softly, and she gasped as he did so. This had to stop. McGonagall could come in and, and catch them. She personally hadn;t gotten any work done, she was too perplexed by his behavior. Suddenly reality hit her. 

James Potter was snogging her. She had willingly given in to him. He had beaten her, and now probably thought he owned her. Now, he knew he could have any girl in the school. Now he knew he could have her. She pushed him against the wall again, hard, so that he looked up at her. 

"Damn you James Potter. I do hate you. You can rot in the darkest corners of hell for all I care." She screamed at him, and ran. 


	5. Cheer up, Lily!

**A/N:Before I start, two things. One, In the second chapter, Lily says James is by the lake. Then, James mentions that he's by the quidditch field..Sorry about the typo! You can pick which one, it's interchangable wink. Two: I've been forgetting Disclaimers. So, this applies to allchapters henceforth and...hence-back? I don't own the characters or settings,I've just taken a walk in their shoes and am occupying my free timeby messing with their heads. All the characters (unless otherwise mentioned) belongto J.K.R. herself...This chapter seems to be a lot longer than the others, without significant happenings. Oh, wait, that's not true. Anyways, it's long. And, as far as I'm concerned it's much"fluffier" to quote my wonderful reviewers. Oh, and this is dedicated to Lisa, as she is gonna miss my party b/c she's in Minnestota! (PS, I'll be updating often, as I have a lot of time coming up..)**

_James stood against the wall, internally beating himself up. How could he have done that? It was Lily Evans! He couldn't just take her in his arms and have his way with her, he couldn't tell her how he felt. She was completely emotionally inept, he evaluated._

_He didn't feel the great sadness he had expected, nor remorse. He just felt anger. He knew it wasn't right; he had been the one making the mistakes. He had been moving to fast, he had been to anxious. He was mad at Lily Evans. He couldn't fathom why._

_Was it because, deep down, he knew she really did care for him? That he knew she was in denial? Was it that he knew her so well, that he could pretty much read her mind? He did know it, he decided, recalling the past few minutes. That look in her eyes; he could have sworn she smiled. She had forced him against the wall; she had kissed him back._

_James ran his hand through his hair. She was driving him crazy! Not a minute went by that he didn't think about her; regret his actions. He smacked the back of his head against the wall, and a thought occured to him almost simultaneously. Things were back to normal! They were 'enemies' again. She had insulted him when he made a move on her, just like it was before they were dating. This was good, they could start from scratch. She had said those things to him before; he smirked at the memory. But not with that conviction, his mind reminded him. He shoved the thought away, he couldn't bare to think of that. It was all back to normal. Yes, yes! Normal. Potter vs. Evans._

Lily flew down the hall, her papers flying everywhere. Tears streamed down her face. She reached the portrait of the fat lady, taking a moment to wipe away her tears before she entered.

"Password?" the fat lady asked. Lily almost laughed out loud; how ironic.

"I love James Potter." She said nonchantly, walking through the portrait. A few weeks ago, the marauders had somehow managed to change the password to 'All hail the Marauders'. James, of course, being his incredibly narcisitsic self, changed it.

"I've always wanted to hear you say that." A voice spoke serenlyfrom behind her. She wanted to scream. No matter how hard she tried she could never escape James.

"Yeah, and trust me Potter, you'll never hear it again." Lily said coldly, spinning on her heal to face him. However true it may be, she added silently. Suddenly, she almost felt bad, almost regretted what she'd said. His face had gone from that adorable lopsided grin, to one of extreme discomfort; he had seen the truth inher statement.

"Yeah, well, excuse me. _Potter_ has somethings to do." He retorted, exagerating his last name as he walked past her, brushing his shoulder ever so slightly against hers. She had an urge to reach out to him, to tell him how she really felt. She contained it. He sulked through the portrait, hands in the pockets of his robe, his head downcast, and his messy slab of hair covering his eyes, and part of his cheeks.

Rather convenient, she noted. She had seen tears on his cheeks.

She climbed the stairs to the girls dormatory, flopping down on her bed, face first. She was seemingly alone, thankfully. Her head was reeling from their last encounter. It was almost like...almost like normal. Before they were dating. She never wanted it to be like that again, sherealized with shock. She wanted James by her side, always and forever. She shocked herself with her own thoughts, but, for once didn't deny them. Even so, she still wasn't ready to give into him. She drifted off to sleep, with the thought of James in her head...

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"Lily, take Harry! Run, I'll hold him off." someone screamed frantically. Lily began to object, but he interupted her. "Lils, I love you. I couldn't bare to know that you died when I could have saved you." he said, pulling her to him swiftly, and kissing her. It was a quick, short kiss, but it held all the love and passion she could ever want.

"I love you too." She answered quietly, kissing him again. Their eyes met. Those big, brown eyes. She'd seent them before, she knew them well. She moved her hand to his arm, and stroked it gently. Those muscled arms, she remembered them. He kissed her once more.

"Now go!" He yelled, pushing her gently up the stairs, and watching her mount them. He would miss her dearly, for he knew what would happen. He'd seen it in a dream, many years ago. He couldn't help but feel guilty that Harry had only crossed his mind once.

"Very noble of you Potter, very noble indeed. Though I do doubt that it will save your less than lovely mudblood wife." a voice hissed from behind him. He wheeled around, to face the serpentine man behind him. "Let's get this over with, come on, I don't want to miss my celebratory party. You can have the first shot."

"Don't you _ever, ever_ talk about my Lily like that again. She's twice as talented as you'll ever be, and to hell with your impeccable breeding." He said, seething inside. He noticed a slight twitch appear near Voldemort's left eye. He grinned internally.

"Confidence, always one of your strong points, James. That and a quick tongue. However effective it is in most cases, it's wasted on me. I'm growing impatient. Hurry up, then." Lord Voldemort said casually, examining his cuticles as if to excentuate his boredom.

"I'd like you to know this, at least. I am not afraid of you, not in the least. I know what will happen, for Isaw it when I was young. If I were you, I would be frightened right now." James replied, faking calm as best he could. Voldemort's confidence faltered. His cocky smile turned ever-so-slightly downwards. 'Cruccio', James muttered mentally. He knew it was wrong, but desperate times called for desperate measures. Voldemort staggered, his knees bent, he fell almost to the ground. Swift was his recovery, though, he quickly pulled himself back up. He laughed uproariously.

"That was cute James, now, let's get down to business." he said, still chuckling. "Avada Kedarva!" He screamed, and James flew back against the wall, his head fell to his chest, his limbs limp. "What a waste of talent." He noted quietly, and began to climb the stairs.

Lily was waiting, holding Harry close. She had heard it all. She couldn't love him any more than she did at that moment. He had kept his cool in the face of the most feared wizard in all of the world. She began to cry, but more than that, she began to hate. She heard a door be opened, and then closed. He was looking for her, she could easily escape for now, by apparating. He hadn't found her yet.

"I'm in here, you moron, come and get me!" She screamed, all fear was suddenly replaced by a burning hatred for Voldemort. He had killed James, her James. He had taken her life, her love, her everything. He entered the room silently. Lily kissed Harry's head, whispering to him how much she wanted him to be just like his father.

"Brave like your husband, I'll give you that. Though, I doubt your fate will be any different." Voldemort said, sounding rushed; daresay, nervous? Lily began to scream insults his way, anything that came to mind;curses, hexes, spells anything she could think of. Finally, his patience thinned.

"ENOUGH!" he screamed, as he pulled our his wand. "AVADA KEDARVA!" Lily supressed a scream. She would not let him have the satisfaction of knowing he'd caused her pain. She collapsed onto the ground, pain surging throughout her body. Her head pounded, and suddenly James' face appeared. The pain immediatley ceased. He nodded to her, signaling her to come with him. She stood, and began to walk towards him. She loved him, she trusted him...

¤.¸¸.·´¨»«´¨·. ¸¸.¤

Lily woke up in a cold sweat, her heart racing, and tears straming down her face. What was that? Was it just some dream provoked by thoughts she'd had? It couldn't have been, it seemed so real! And that man, her husband? Potter...Her husband was James. She expected her skin to crawl at the very thought. It did, but not because she was disgusted. And they had a child...Harry? What an odd name, she thought. Impossible, she'd never marry James, nor would she ever name some poor child Harry. She let out a sob.

"Lily?" Someone asked. The speaker sat on the edge of her bed. "What's wrong, sweetie? I just came up, and heard you crying." Lily was able to make out the speaker; Molly Prewett. They had been good friends since first year when they invented a club for redheads. Two members. It was a great success. Lily told the whole story, not of her dream, but of her twisted relations with James. Well, most of the story. She left out the incident in McGonagall's office.Molly cradled Lily in her arms while she cried.

"Molls, you understand, don't you?" Lily asked, in between sobs.

"Of course, dear. You don't really go for the devilishly handsome, smart, funny, sweet, and caring type. What? You're holding out foran ugly, stupid thug? Lils, no, I don't get it." Molly replied sarcastically. Lily rolled her eyes and cried even harder.

"That's just it Molly! That's James in a nutshell. Most of the times he's the sweetest, most caring, most wonderful person I've ever met. But then, when he tells me how he feels, and I don't know what I feel yet, he totally freaks out! Seriously Molls, he really scared me in..." She stopped, realizing she had just added to the story. Molly raised her eyebrows curiously.

"We both had to make up some work, so we were alone in McGonagall's office. James was being all wierd. He was totally ignoring me! So, I asked him what was wrong, and he said I was what was wrong. He said he couldn't stop thinking about me, and he wanted me to hate him. Which makes no sense, right? And he had this scary look in his eyes. It was scary Molls! So, I got my books and ran to the door, but he caught up with me, and grabbed me. He mumbled some things about how he didn't understand. He was holding me so tight, I couldn't breathe! He was crushing me. And then--oh ho, then--he kissed me! Totally out of nowhere, he kissed me hard to. It hurt Molls, bad. And Molly, the worst part is that I liked it! I couldn't help myself, so I kissed him back and were totally snogging! But then, my good sense came back, and I yelled at him and left. When I got back here I fell asleep and had some really freaky dream. And James was in it!" Lily confessed. Molly just looked shocked.

"Well, I never would have thought that James Potter...But then again, I really don't know him. I'd like to hear about this dream, dearie...But, by freaky you mean...?" Molly said, and Lily burst out laughing. She could always count on Molly to cheer her up.

**Note to Reviewers:**

**Silver Ice: You're my favorite reviewer, not to pick favorites! You're always vereh positive, and I love to read positive reviews! **

**Blackolives10: fluffiness is no fun if it's repetetively redundant. It'll return, don't worry. **

**ThePhantomIt14: Your reviews rock my socks off. I constantly rant about evil, and here, someone else is too.**

**Cheer4Cheesecake: see reply to Blackolives10.**

**OH, and I'm debating in my head how long this should be. Should I follow James and Lily to their death? Or should it end after they're together? HOW LONG SHOULD IT GO ON? I'd love some input wink**


	6. I rather think I'm in Love

**A/N: I shan't be able to write without inspiration! Please review, I love reviews. Even flames are okay, if they tell me what the flamer detested oh so much. So, many thanks to Silver Ice, you rock my socks off, and review almost every time I update. I'd say something bout the fishy, 'cept I just saw you last night, so screw it. Anyways, I hope you like it. I'm also open for suggestions! (To Kati: God, was I ever tempted to have molly/lucius in here) I promise, it will get better eventually, so stay tuned!** **(BTW, i edited and the chapter has been expanded.)**

"Thanks for coming boys." Molly Prewett said, in her characteristically quiet way. She sat on the couch, next to Remus, and across from Sirius Black and Peter. On her other side, sat Arthur Weasley; she couldn't get him to leave her alone.

"Anytime Molls, anytime. Now, as everyone knows, our dear James and Lily aren't getting on to well. This needs to stop." Remus said, in the most authoritative voice he could muster. The Marauders, and Molly, had come together to formulate a plan in order to reunite their best friends.

"Yes, yes, we know Moony. What're we gonna do about it?" Sirius spoke quickly, waving off Remus' introduction with his hand. Remus rolled his eyes. Thank you captain obvious, how 'bout the weather? He was tempted to say it, but he knew Sirius would take it too literally. It was raining, by the way.

"Well, I was thinking..." Molly began, and the group leaned in to hear her plot. It was crazy, not to mention unethical, but simple enough that even Peter understood. Molly would ask Lily to get her something out of the storage room in the dormitories. The marauders would ask James, then the door would "lock magically" leaving them at each others mercy. Remus was against it. What if--not to rip on his best friend--James lost it again? Lily would kill him, he noted with amusement.

So, it was set. After the Quidditch match against Slytherin, they're plan would be put into action.

-----

"So, you got it?" James asked the Gryffindor Quidditch team, referring to the play he had initiated. He smiled anxiously, wringing his hands. They all nodded, smiling at him reassuringly, and leaving the locker room. "You'd better..." he murmured, about to leave himself when someone spoke.

"James?" A feminine voice said, from outside of the door. "I need to talk to you, do you have time?" It was Lily, he knew her voice anywhere. Normally, he would have been ecstatic, but now, he just wanted to say no, and go play. She had caused too much pain, for both of them. Despite himself, though, he walked out into the hallway, smiling his lopsided grin.

"Sure Lily, what's up?" He asked, faking calm.

"I'm sorry James. For everything. I just wanted you to know." She said quietly, looking at her feet.

"Lils, I don't want you to be _sorry_. I want you to be happy. Why do you hate me? _I_ Just want to know." He replied, not one hint of his normal affection in his voice. Lily rolled her eyes, irritated. She'd felt horrible about what she'd said, not that he was exactly doing good. Molly had made her. And now, he was giving her the third-degree!

"I don't hate you James." She answered, louder, becoming more and more agitated with each passing second. How could she make him believe her? She was scared; utterly and completely scared. She didn't want to let go, to fall. She didn't trust him to catch her.

"Then, why do you act like it? I really don't get it." He said, smile overturning. His brow furrowed, examining her, looking for some shred of sense in her statements. She didn't hate him. She kissed him. She damned him.She hated him. She didn't hate him. It was completely unethical! It had no rhyme, or reason to it at all! It just wouldn't click. She walked over to him quickly, placing her hands on either side of his face, and kissed him. She closed her eyes; now or never to let go.

_She was _

_falling_

_falling_

_falling_

"I don't hate you. I think I rather love you." She said quietly, once they pulled apart. Could he ever kiss! She couldn't wait for his answer. Lily watched his eyes excitedly, waiting for the excitement to enter in. And it did; momentarily, he smiled, and his eyes sparkled happily. Suddenly, though, his eyes glazed over and his grin faded.

"Too late, Lils. Too late."

_Crashing_

_Burning_

_Pining_

_Missing_

_Waiting_

_Dyeing._

**A/N: You like? Tell me, review! (19.99 plus shipping and handling).**

**To me reviewers:**

**Goldfish: uhhh, random much? I stopped the italics thing, just for you and your poor wittle bitty eyeballs.**

**Silver Ice: (grins manically) your reviews keep me going! normally, I'd have passed this story on to a new person by now, as I have a phobia of finishing things (wink)**

**Violet Indigo: soooo glad you likes eet! still debating about the legnth though...(see reason in reply to Silver Ice)**

**Lady Gwynevere: Glad you like it! And, I realize I forgot a disclaimer, but, I did say all chapters "hence-forth and hence...back?" so, I'll put it every few chapters, hoping no one decides to take legal action against laziness. lol**

**Meg: teehee, glad you like.**

**PsychoLeopard: Okay, I'll take that into consideration. I'm not really sticking to the books, just writing it as it comes into my head...I know the dream was in the PoA, but I'm writing it how I'd like it to be, and that's good enough forme :)**

**ThePhantomIt14: AM I FORGIVEN? i do hope so. I put the two chapters together, btw. I had a lack of time, and was getting emails of a more threatening vein, so I posted to sustain my vicious readers. (you know who you are, lol)**

**Weird Not Boring: I love these kind of reviews! Glad you like it, and hope to see more reviews from you in the future. The reason I misspell, etc. is quite simple. I am but a lowly thirteen-year-old and am rather modest about my writing, and hate when my mother reads it. If i were to save it as a word doc., she most certainly would. So, I type it up and email it to myself, copy n paste it into the thingy-mabober. Spell check is on the bottom of my list, as my mother could walk by at any minute...(wink)**


	7. Rising sand, or falling chaser?

**((Ack! >. So sorry I haven't updated, in as my fellow Alyssa said, two months. I've been so busy with school and volleyball, and my own fictional creations, that I've had very little time to devote to this. For those of you who emailed me daily, (you know who you are) just calm down. Unless I state so otherwise, I will always return eventually. I just need the proper inspiration. Now, FYI this chapter may not be one of my better works, for I'm just 'getting into the swing' of things again, and it may take some time...so bare with me, I'm trying...OH! and for the two people who have emailed me asking what it will end like...I might want to add that though not completely canon, I will not change the entire HP series for the sake of my angst motives. Dears, they shall end up together, I'm not that cruel...))**

Lily stood in the hallway stupidly for a moment, barely breathing. Her head was now pounding, and it truly felt as if her heart were tearing in two. She sighed heavily, covering her face with her hands as slow tears rolled down her cheeks. She continued to cry, hoping someone would find her, so she could talk to someone. But no one came. Now in a foul mood, she set off towards the stands. If she couldn't have James, she could at least watch him. Although she admitted to herself that it wasn't going to sustain her for long. 

As she reached the familiar red and gold stands, she spotted Molly Prewett waving a hand at her. Sighing deeply, and putting on a smile, she jogged up and semi-collapsed next to her, hoping that her eyes weren't too red. Before she even ushered a greeting, she searched the entire field for James. Her green eyes darted around until she spotted him. Sitting high above everyone else, was James. His messy black hair was made even more so, ruffled by the wind. A meek smile crossed her lips before she shoved it away. The game would start soon. She should pay attention. 

------ 

James knew he should be paying more attention, helping the team out. Luckily, his team knew that he was not in the best of states when he had walked out of the hall and tripped over the floor, then ran into a wall. They'd decided his mind wasn't checked in, which was pretty much true. He turned the head of his broom downwards, zooming after absolutely nothing, attempting to look as if he was actually doing something. His mind kept flying back to Lily, and he wanted to scream. 

He didn't need her. He couldn't need her. 

But he did, and he knew it. She was his everything. She was so perfect, and he hated her for it. Yet he loved her all the same. It was such a confusing emotion, and it overwhelmed him. Setting his jaw, he attempted to participate, chasing after one of his teammates who had the quaffle. 

There was just one problem. James spotted Lily in the crowd. How could he not, with hair such as hers? Smiling to himself, he felt traitorous. He had just rejected her, but the sight of her elated him. He needed to get a grip. His dark eyes still fixed on Lily, he spun around only to be stopped short by something flying straight at his head. 

Something big and black, zooming towards his face. He tried to duck, but he wasn't fast enough. It hit him head on. Whap! The impact made his head throb, and slowly, the world began to fade as James Potter drifted towards the ground, Lily's face still vivid in his mind. He collided with the sand below him with a loud thump, and the entire stadium grew quiet. 

The world was growing dark, he couldn't see... 

His head hurt, it was so loud... 

And then, it was all gone. 

**((My secret beta-reader says it sounds like I killed him! Just clarifying, he's just hit by a bludger, before those evil emails come...))**


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